What does a spiritual director do?
Spiritual direction is a ministry of listening, conversation, silence, and prayer. In a spiritual direction session, these four elements combine to help you come to know yourself and God better, to deepen your felt experience of God, and to help you reflect on the ways that God is present and calling in. your life.
How do I as a director help you grow spiritually? First, I help to create a space for you to be in the presence of God – a space where the noise and confusion of a busy life is quieted and your soul can find stillness. Within this space of direction, I offer focused, confidential, one-on-one time with you, inviting you to talk about your emotions, your hopes, your desires, your disappointments – anything important to you. As you talk, I listen – both to you and to the Holy Spirit. I ask gentle questions to help you reflect more deeply on your experience and notice what God is doing in your life. I often begin a session with guided breathing and reflection and also offer time to sit in silence so you can listen to God directly, or just be with Jesus without having to do anything at all.
Unlike a coach, who will set you a program of exercise and training, or a mentor who will help you set tasks time frames for accomplishment, my role as a director is not to tell you what to do. I’m here to help you cultivate a mode of being: a posture of grateful and graced awareness to how God is already – and always – with and within you. I will listen to and with you, helping you surface and explore the deep desires and longings that God has planted within you.
Because the role of a spiritual director is to journey with you, not to take control of the journey, some prefer the term “spiritual companion” to “director.” Others use the metaphor of “spiritual midwife” – someone who gently helps you birth God’s new life within you.
My practice of spiritual direction is informed by the insights and practices of St. Ignatius of Loyola. St. Ignatius was the founder of the Jesuits and the author of the Spiritual Exercises. Ignatian spirituality trains us to pay careful, daily attention to the “movements of our spirits” – our emotions, bodily responses, thoughts, desires – so we can feed and reinforce only those movements that come from God. This is a gentle, soul-nourishing process that will, over time, grow you in faith, hope, and love. By paying attention to your spirit, you will nurture the ability to discern, in big moments and in small ones, God’s presence in your daily life.
Do you really need a director? Can’t a good friend or a pastor serve the same role? In theory, yes, definitely! Practically speaking, though, it can be difficult to find someone who will help create time and space for communion with God the way a trained director will. Or someone who will listen to you the way a spiritual director will – patiently, non-judgmentally, honoring your gifts, and with eyes and ears trained to perceive what God is doing in your life.